hello all...i've been searching for some sort of comfort in my situation.
i found a story written by "iamfreenow" aka marion.
i found some comfort to know that i am not alone in my challenging of my faith.
Hello all...thanks for all of your welcomes and responses...I tried to write last night but, I kept getting an "error" page. So hopefully tonight this will go through. I just want you to know that I am thankful a place like this exists and it helps to not feel so alone...
I appreciate all of you and your responses!Mals
hello all...i've been searching for some sort of comfort in my situation.
i found a story written by "iamfreenow" aka marion.
i found some comfort to know that i am not alone in my challenging of my faith.
Hello All...I've been searching for some sort of comfort in my situation. I found a story written by "iamfreenow" aka Marion. I found some comfort to know that I am not alone in my challenging of my faith. I'm 26 years old and was disfellowshipped in May this past year. I worked harder than ever to be a good little witness until October. Trying so hard to be reinstated. But, it takes a good year of redeeming yourself before they will consider you for reinstatement. Well, sitting in a meeting in October the thought occured to me...god had forgiven me. Why couldn't a man made religion do the same? I was disfellowshipped due to drunkenness. I went to the brothers and told them that I had gotten drunk and did some other unscriptural things in my drunken stupor. I went to them and told them that I have a problem with drinking but, after the judicial committee they decided to disfellowship me. I got drunk along with my best friend who is also a witness. She was not disfellowshipped but, I was. I pleaded with them and asked for help for my drinking problem but, nonetheless, they took away my life...my standing in the congregation. I know that I am rattling on...I don't quite know what to say. Just that my heart is breaking as I face this "crisis of conscience". I miss my friends, my family, my life as I knew it. But, I can't see going back and living a lie. I have dreams every other night of people I have left behind. Last night I woke up crying out for "Jody". She was a longtime friend and like a mom to me. I miss her. I miss my twin sister. I miss my mom. My heart is breaking missing these people who will have nothing to do with me. But, I just don't know how I can do what they expect of me to be reinstated. I even thought of going through the motions to be reinstated and then just becoming inactive. I just don't know what to do and where to begin. I moved after I was disfellowshipped. So, I no longer live in the town that I grew up in. I moved a couple hours away to start over and make a new name for myself. I stopped drinking. And I have been working to improve the quality of my life. But, faced with loss and a huge decision to make...I am stuck. Any advice? Thanks for listening to my ramblings...
Mals
